the resurrection and the life
(of the bike tire)
Easter Sunday in Portland. Shhhpringtime in the air. And bunnies on bikes.
Okay. So, after church, it was time to brave the withering scowl of the train operator (don’t ask), slip a couple of bunny ears into my helmet, clip a puffy tail onto my keister, and join the group ride whose only price of admission is that you come dressed for the part.
Little did I know, I’d need my bunny costume for a two-mile hippity hop hop through the city first.
hop, hop, bike: 6.25 miles total
The ride started at Union Station in downtown Portland. About 128 bunnies showed up for the trip. Portlanders showed off their rabbity ingenuity by fashioning ears from craft paper, fabric, and even condoms. Wetsuits, leg warmers, fuzzy boots, bike shorts, and full-body fake fur stood in for our pelts. Our ride leader was a giant carrot.
While we were all standing around admiring one another’s costumes, a crisp BLAM clapped through the air. Shiki, my bike, had “thrown a shoe.” Her tires just couldn’t take being ridden around and reinflated after sitting for so long in a storefront. Not to worry. REI was only ten or so blocks away, and I had a cell phone. So I took off on foot, carrying my rear wheel.
Wouldn’t ya know it, the store was closed. In retrospect, it’s obvious that the good folks at REI would want to spend Easter Sunday with their families, but when you’re racing across town to get a tire fixed, your thoughts are more likely to run along the lines of, “those lazy bastidges!”
Fortunately, a quick phone call confirmed that Bike Gallery was open. And they were a mere fourteen blocks away! A hop, hop, and a hop brought me swiftly to the store. I know what you’re thinking: isn’t it a little dangerous, or at least weird, to be walking around downtown in a bike helmet and bunny outfit? No way! This is Portland, man! That outfit is downright conservative by PDX standards! Heck, those people thought I was an insurance salesman! Most people didn’t even bat an eyelash at a giant cyclist bunny stalking their streets, though I did get a few smiles and friendly honk ‘n’ waves.
By this time, the weather had changed from chilly and gusty to hot and sunny. I peeled off a layer of clothes, just as the mechanic was finishing up peeling off my dead tire. Damn, those guys are fast!
I hustled back to Shiki and muscled her wheel back on, then raced to catch up with the group at Waterfront Park. We all stopped at the foot of the Hawthorne Bridge for carrots (really!) and then headed back through Chinatown to the starting point. It was a blast. So many passers-by smiled and wished Happy Easter to the bunnies! Except for the crazy street preacher guy who called us “war pigs.” That guy must really not like insurance salesmen.